My dear friend just bought her new home on wheels. I had expected to hear gleeful shouts of anticipation as she has a plan....
Now that the time is here to give notice on her apartment, the vexing problem of anxiety has robbed her of the joy and anticipation of the launch.
I am approximately one month behind her in my departure date. Will my old companion anxiety come calling for me too.
According to Wikipedia - Anxiety (also called angst or worry) is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear and concern. Anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. It can also cause feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension. Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressor. It may help an individual to deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to cope with it. Anxiety can be confused with fear. However, fear is concrete, (a real danger) whereas anxiety is the paranoia of something out there that seems menacing but may not be menacing, and, indeed, may not even be out there.
I will admit right here, right now, the one anxiety that follows me around on every adventure. It happens almost like clock work. I slip behind the wheel of the truck. I start the engine. I take off to parts uncharted and unknown. Here is is.... the creeping thought that takes over my mind. "What if I can't find a place to park?" I don't have the funds to just show up in a campground. I love the idea of boondocking but the reality of not knowing where I will land does create my own angst during the travel. Once I have decided on a nightly home I find renew excitement and joy..... until the ignition turns on the next departure moment.
Ok.... there I have said it! Be gone old foe, anxiety!!
I have too much to do to get ready for my own departure date. I need to focus on what is real and what needs to be done. One of my best coping skills is my ability to problem solve and create a new option when none seem apparent. But the moment between defining the obstacle and choosing a course of action leaves me ripe for the seduction of anxiety.
Anxiety has the power to strip you of deliberate action and thought. Anxiety comes calling in the quiet hours of morning when you should be fast asleep. Anxiety creeps in when the work is all but done and the new beginnings are ever so near.
Is that doubt you whispered in my ear???
Are feelings of helplessness stalking my indomitable spirit?
Anxiety Girl......You are my new pal....