Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Anxiety Girl

My dear friend just bought her new home on wheels.  I had expected to hear gleeful shouts of anticipation as she has a plan....
                      a home....
                                                          and anxiety.
Now that the time is here to give notice on her apartment, the vexing problem of anxiety has robbed her of the joy and anticipation of the launch.

I am approximately one month behind her in my departure date.  Will my old companion anxiety come calling for me too. 

According to Wikipedia - Anxiety (also called angst or worry) is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear and concern.  Anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread.   It can also cause feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension.  Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressor. It may help an individual to deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to cope with it.  Anxiety can be confused with fear. However, fear is concrete, (a real danger) whereas anxiety is the paranoia of something out there that seems menacing but may not be menacing, and, indeed, may not even be out there.

Enough of that dribble.

I will admit right here, right now, the one anxiety that follows me around on every adventure.  It happens almost like clock work.  I slip behind the wheel of the truck.  I start the engine.  I take off to parts uncharted and unknown.  Here is is.... the creeping thought that takes over my mind.  "What if I can't find a place to park?"  I don't have the funds to just show up in a campground.  I love the idea of boondocking but the reality of not knowing where I will land does create my own angst during the travel.  Once I have decided on a nightly home I find renew excitement and joy..... until the ignition turns on the next departure moment.

Do you suppose that Columbus had camp anxiety too?     

Ok.... there I have said it!  Be gone old foe, anxiety!!

I have too much to do to get ready for my own departure date.  I need to focus on what is real and what needs to be done.  One of my best coping skills is my ability to problem solve and create a new option when none seem apparent.   But the moment between defining the obstacle and choosing a course of action leaves me ripe for the seduction of anxiety.

Anxiety has the power to strip you of deliberate action and thought.  Anxiety comes calling in the quiet hours of morning when you should be fast asleep. Anxiety creeps in when the work is all but done and the new beginnings are ever so near. 

Is that doubt you whispered in my ear???
                 Are feelings of helplessness stalking my indomitable spirit?

Be gone my evil foe!!!

Anxiety Girl......You are my new pal....

 Vanquish all Anxiety! 


  1. Great post... serious, but in a cute way.
    The art of boondocking takes practice. Newbies should have a good map and a plan (I know... it sounds contradictory when on the cusp of freedom).
    Once you get the hang of how to look for and find good and safe areas to camp for free Anxiety Girl we be gone 99 percent of the time.
    Plan your next night's stop, and always have a backup spot if it doesn't feel right. Plan to stop early... way before sunset to give yourself time to get set up before dark. And finally, ask other boon dockers about certain areas that you are unfamiliar with... We'd be glad to help!!!

    Box Canyon Mark

  2. For sure I will take you up on that.... I know I will have to just find ways to deal with the anxiety, and I will carry Anxiety Girl for Back up!!

  3. Klb, oh golly! You are right on the money for all of us. How perceptive to label and recognize it for what it is and have a plan to deal with it. I hope your friend moves forward bravely, knowing she has a good plan and has covered herself. Good blog, speaks to me!

  4. Your friend is the victim of fear and maybe even a touch of learned helplessness. Very common and hard to kick out of the baggage compartment.

    I suspect she'll be fine once things get going. Great post!

  5. I'm feeling the anxiety as I sit here and wait for strangers to come get my stuff. I keep thinking it will not show up on the other end. Really, everything I care about is being mailed (which is stressful in itself). I was just told that I can pay to ship my stuff, get paid for what I've already mailed (couple of hundred dollars worth with more to be mailed), or be paid for my travel (my $600 ticket). It all adds up to more than I have allotted. AT this point I am kind of beyond caring. But I am anxious.

  6. Lots of boondockers stand ready to help you out!