Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I admit it..... I'm in a major FUNK!

I've been working on getting my house and yard and life in order.  But I will admit it, it is a half hearted effort.   I am in a major funk!!  

This year with so much rain the yard has become a jungle and it alone is a full time job.  The garden has gone to pot.   And there is the house..... and the animals.....  and the decisions.
                                                         Calgon  take me away!

 It is not that I am regretting my decision to down size and full time.  I am excited to move to the next phase of my life.   But realistically, I find myself beginning to grieve the loss of my present life.   I have been a mom and foster parent for all of my adult life.  Here I am, in my sixties and I am wanting to do some exploring, visiting, and just plain wanting to redefine myself for this latter part of my life.  Even if I weren't going to move to full time traveling, I would need to downsize from where I live now.  The work, the house,  the property,  the animals.... it is just too much for me to keep up with.

Is it selfish of me to want it all????  The reality is I can't afford it all.
I have to make a choice.

So I've decided to full-time for a while and see where that leads me.  I may find I need to have a home base, only time will tell.   There are lots of ways folks have made life work for them once they are open to the idea of change.  And I have 2 daughters and my Auntie here in Spokane, which has for the most of my life been home.   I also have a daughter and her family in Connecticut. I also have so many places to see and experience that it is hard to know where I will hang my hat.

I have read many blogs that talked of the relief as  you let go of things and move towards the future.  Did everyone skip over the hard parts?  Or were they to hard to write about?  Or did  you just think no one would want to know the nitty gritty details?   And then there are all the decisions!  Geezs... these are the times I would love to push of some of these decisions for someone else to make. 

Ok Ok . One foot in front of another.... Tomorrow is another day.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Today.

Here's  To
           My Future:

Ok Kids.....  How did you get through the tough times?

                          I need some encouragement here......


  1. I think what you are going through is just totally natural. Any loss, even if it is one you think you want, has some grieving. One step at a time is it exactly. And the knowledge that you can create whatever life you really want. If this one has to down size then so be it. But if the next one doesn't turn out to be just right then you'll tweek it until it is what you want. Have faith in yourself and be grumpy if you need to. That's what I try to do when I'm in a funk. Notice the word "try". The sun will shine I've found even if I don't get out and drum it up. :-))

  2. I am cheating on the downsizing. I have 2 10x20' storage units near my Mom. One does have my Jeep in it while I'm down here in Honduras. So, what I can't make a decision on I send to storage. However, I have moved a lot of this stuff many times, across country and back and forth to and from Honduras. As I move things I start questioning. Also, as I get some distance in time as well as space some things lose their grip. It is taking me time, though. And money. I would be further along money-wise if I could have just sold/dumped the vast majority of this stuff sometime in the past 5 years. But, I didn't. And that is ok. The money has bought me time to make decisions as I can.

  3. There is always uncertainty as we go down any path, wondering if we made the right choice, but the truth is that whatever path you chose you can make work if you're committed enough to it.

    I hauled stuff around for five years before I finally got rid of the last of it. For me, the hardest part would be the animals. The house and stuff will be forgotten once you hit the road, but until then, you just have to keep moving forward, one step at a time. :)

  4. Wish I had some words of wisdom for you. We decided to stay put and travel only part time. The more I looked at leaving my home behind, the more I knew I just couldn't do it. I need a place to come home to and a place for my brood to gather. But sometimes when I look at all the yard work and the expense of upkeep, I wish I could let go. Perhaps in time. It's so different for each of us but cleaning out and getting rid of stuff is always difficult. It is not so much the item as it is the memories attached to that item. Give it time and go with what your heart is telling you.

  5. Hi! This is my first time visiting with you, finding you through another RV blog. Yes, it can be so very hard to let go of where you are "at" now, but there is so much out there waiting for you! Yes, it does get easier as you begin to let go of "stuff." The first thing to go was a coffee table I had purchased after my divorce. It was a gunmetal frame with stone tiles making up the surface. Very earthy, very much a reflection of me. When it went out the door, I felt like a piece of me was going with it. I survived, and as more items left, the easier it got. Remember that a house is just a bunch of wood, bricks, etc. - a home is where our heart is, where our stories are, where our energy resides. You'll be fine! Getting ready to hit the road is an exciting time. Enjoy!

  6. I can relate to what you are going through. I've been in similar situation trying to decide what to do and what to buy. My urge to go fulltime started last October, soon to be a year ago. I still have not decided what to do but have gained a lot of information between blogs I read, friends that have RVs and questions that I have asked either on my blog or by email.

    There are a lot of people that can help you but only you can decide what is best for you. Once that "snowball" effect hits your downsizing it will seem much easier. As far as your house, the animals, etc ... it will all work out and mysteriously show you a solution when it's needed.

    It's hard to make changes at our age, but it's doable.

    Hang in there and feel free to rant anytime, your readers can help.

  7. Two years ago I sold my home in Texas and head to beaches of Florida-- 34 ft RV near the water- Travel in summer months- works for me - Mark and Bobbie at Box Canyon Blog will provide much wisdom in the travel life! Walden Creek RV Steve

  8. I'm late in commenting and you may be past this thinking by now. I had a yard full of weeds while trying to downsize and move out of my house, I hired someone to take care of it. I was a "giver" with a family of "takers" and friends that did not do much giving, either. I was happy to downsize and get on the road. My biggest emotion was frustration with all of the "stuff" that I spent money on - money I could have in savings right now for my wandering ways. And I always thought I was a pretty frugal person. I owned a tax business for over 25 years and thought I would do that forever, even thought I would do taxes while I travel. But I am not doing taxes anymore. Now I see how much this business and other things took over my life. I made many mistakes and hope that I can correct them now while I travel and do some volunteer work. I hope it all works out well for you.

    1. Thank-you for your comment. I can identify with a lot of what you said. I have been making some good movement towards getting my house on the market. It is amazing how little of the stuff really makes me happy. So ready to turn the page into the next chapter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts they are a great encouragement. And I need all the encouragement I can get!!